On this the day of my birth, I geared up the dog and walked a measly mile or so up a not so bad incline to the top of what might amount to a mountain in these here parts. It lays behind Lake Purdy and I’m always worried I’m trespassing when I’m out there…
I wanted to find solitude and silence and watch the sunrise to contemplate the next year. For the last two years I’ve been writing out a list that I look at about once a month. It contains 1 thing for each year that I’ve been alive, and each of these items on the list are things I want to accomplish in the next year. Some are vague hopes, or spiritual goals, others are more concrete (blog once a week, sell the house by x date) etc.
This helps me remember that I’m not plowing through life aimlessly but that I have goals and wishes. That I am constantly seeking to grow as a person. Seeing them written down helps me define and stay on a good path. I couldn’t pick anyone better to travel it with than Whiskey.
I know we’ve been really lacking in the blog department. It’s because we are trying to sell our house and have been working round the clock for about two months on making repairs and improvements so we can list it to sell and have it be nice. You know, not like two slovenly grad students live there. Which don’t, but you wouldn’t know it from looking at how it used to be. We haven’t listed the house yet because of an unforeseen setback regarding paperwork. I can’t say a lot about that here. Let’s just leave it at- that it saddens me very much that we can’t list our house yet after all the work we’ve done and I’ve been fluctuating between teetering on the edge of depression and trying very hard to stay positive. I was hoping that watching the sunrise would help set a tone for the next year. One of believing there is always a dawn after the darkness, and that no dark time lasts forever. As I trudged up the spooky hill (er, or mountain, depending) with just my dog, my headlamp, and a faulty teetiny knife in my pocket (just in case) I couldn’t help but get afraid. But you keep trudging through these times. The alternative is no good choice. You have to keep moving forward. Especially when events are beyond your control. The sunrise came and went and I thought there would be a lot of sitting and staring transfixed at it’s growing light. Pondering the universe and all. But well, sorry to burst any ones bubble- but there surely wasn’t. Whiskey smelled the deer and possibly other critters and was mad with excitement. Pulling me up a few hills (I didn’t mind). He was running about and shivering with his nose to the ground darting this way and that. It was very hard to convince him to relax and enjoy the sunrise. Hard indeed. So I gave up and walked on to the cemetery just as the sun was clearing the trees. The cemetery had some vandalism that I didn’t remember from the last time (missing Mary head, broken angel wings) and a dead animal that Whiskey found (he’s particularly good at this). Its bones lay scattered. I think it was a small deer based on fur left on one joint. Gross I know, but I’m compelled to share it with you all 🙂 I tripped over the backbone when I was trying to back up to see what Whiskey was sniffing at. I have to include pictures of this so if you’re freaked out by bones don’t scroll further!
All in all, it was not a bad way at all to spend your bday morning! Hope everyone has a safe 4th of July. Light a firecracker for me.